My Counseling Approach

Betsy Stanfield LPC

My practice is tailored to help individuals and couples to work through life limiting barriers to greater happiness, enhanced self-esteem, hope, and fulfillment. I believe in the inherent ability of people to create positive change – despite what might seem like insurmountable barriers. My method of therapy is individually tailored and holistic in nature. I integrate philosophies from the medical, psychological, family system and self-help communities. My aim is to treat the whole person. I am committed to healing not just the symptoms, but also the underlying problems in order to facilitate self-understanding and permanent change. I provide a counseling environment of confidentially, respect, and non-judgment.

Specialty Areas:

Couples: My passion is helping couples deal effectively with many different challenges and situation that arise in relationships. Even when issues between individuals are complex and challenging, the right guidance can bring much-needed hope and healing to both people.  From crisis counseling to managing life transitions to marital enrichment, I help couples travel their best path toward a better life together.

Couples can meet hurdles at all stages of their relationship. I help to improve communication, Identify barriers to deeper connection and repair and or strengthen emotional safety and trust. Often challenges for couples stem from bringing past issues into the present, so we work at bringing awareness to filters or beliefs that may be creating cycles of conflict. Identifying and clarifying each partner’s priority needs and how to best meet them as a team is an important part of the process.

One of the most difficult tasks for any couple is to rebuild trust and affection after the discover of deep secrets, long-term deception, repeated sexual infidelity, financial infidelity and other deep ruptures of trust and security.  I’ve helped many wounded couples evaluate their situation honestly, determine the best course of action for everyone involved, rebuild trust and emotional safety, identify the causes of such painful occurrences, establish safeguards to support and maintain healing and do the difficult work of rebuilding a life that can be happy and healthy.  It’s not easy work, but the rewards can be immense over time.

Unfortunately some couples choose not to continue forward together, in which case I can help each person establish the basis for a new life of healing and hope.

Addictions: Dealing with the crippling affects of ALL types of addiction is another large focus of my work. Alcohol addiction, drug addiction, workaholism, sex addiction, porn addiction, gambling addiction, shopping addiction and/or shoplifting addiction are some of many.

I am specially trained and certified in sex addiction and have helped many individuals begin and sustain recovery.  Porn addiction and sex addiction (in is myriad of manifestations)  is an epidmic now in our society. There is a pathway out of this prison and I been successful in helping many addicts regain control of their lives and stop harming themselves and  the people they love.  

Partner of Addicts: I also do a great deal of work with partners of addicts to help them understand the addiction recovery process and, when needed, help them work through trauma and/or codependency issues. Partners of any addict become detectives at first just wanting to find out what is going on but can become obsessed themselves with uncovering information and monitoring the activities of the addict in hopes of understanding and changing the destructive behavior.  They may become so focused on the addict that they neglect their own self-care and that of their children.

Partners of Sex Addicts in particular are in crisis. They feel embarrassment and humiliation at what the sex addict has done and continues to do. They feel scared and isolated. They feel alone in dealing with these issues that they don’t feel able to talk about for fear of reaction and judgement from others. In reality the sex addict’s behavior is not correlated with the amount or kind of sexual activity they are having with their partner even if there are problems including sexual problems in their relationship. The sex addicts’ actions are connected to their own destructive pattern of impaired beliefs, avoidance of intimacy, preoccupation with fantasy, acting out sexually, despair and then repeating the pattern over and over with increased consequence.

Partners of sex addicts doubt themselves and their reality. They wonder if they are “blowing things out of proportion”. This is often reinforced by the sex addicts who are not being accountable for their problematic behaviors and deflect the truth through lies and manipulation of both their own reality and that of their partners. Partners of sex addicts are not responsible for or to blame for the sex addicts’ compulsive behavior. Only the sex addict is responsible for his or her behavior just as only the partner is responsible for her or his behavior.

If you or a loved one are suffering from addictions of any type, I would like to talk to you to explore ways I can help.